I'm having a school girl moment

Remember that giggly feeling after your crush talks to you? Or keeping your composure for a bit, as he slightly pauses around where you're sitting? Or you find yourself gamely gushing over his simple jokes?

Yes! I'm feeling them again. Being an unattached single mom in my 30s, it's refreshing to NOT think about Jeanina and work for a change. This isn't making me a bad mom is it? We all need a fresh break from our Mommy modes every once in a while. Believe me, this is quite a while! So I'm  REALLY making a big deal out of it. I'm having this once-in-a-blue-moon fuzzy moment, so bear with me guys! (hehe) Just puke on the side if you can't take it.

Well admittedly, I crush on men often especially with obvious physical attractiveness. V is this mestizo-chinese guy with inexplicable sexy appeal and a nice physique. But when I found out he couldn't spell a certain "viand" word...big OOPS! Plus his money issues at work are simply a big turn off. Of all things, money sets how you are as a person in so many ways so....V is ticked off now. Another would be N, nice and quiet kind of guy. A friend of a friend's husband. He's more the dude at the backside of the group just laughing at people's jokes and on rarities can be conversational too. He has these "kanto" terms though , that i find amusing but obviously got me into thinking. If we would have a one-on-one conversation in the future, would it go "my kind" of way? Hmm...Next!

But apart from these occasional "crushes" going on around in my head, somehow Y's presence (no matter how infrequent) and oftentimes work-related, intrigues me. Y is not a hunk nor a "great looker". I've worked with him several times and i find his humor 'spot on' - which scores a biggie for me. He's cool. He's smart. He's confident of himself without being overbearing. He loves to drink, and I do too!  But above all, I love how his BRAIN works. Conversations with him flow so natural. If work talk surfaces he'd swift by it too without sounding "too" know it all. His subdued and unflirtatious (is there such a word?) demeanor lures me into liking him a lot more. So after that "work day" with him, I can confirm that he is my MAJOR crush.

If i were to summon the "law of attraction" for this part of my life....I really will with all my heart and all my brain cells. Lord let him like ME too...plsss! :) haha this makes me sound pathetic does it? Well, for a single mom not actively INTO dating...or not having the opportunity to be asked out - THIS is all I got really. THIS one glimmer of hope that somebody will like me, despite my "should i say" confidence, sarcasm, straightforwardness and that "always busy" kind of facade that probably (I'm assuming again) shoos men away from thinking I'm a really fun, approachable lady who also thinks of dating them! I remember I was once told, men get attracted to women who exude the vibe of needing a man. Is that true? Cause if it is, I'm a goner! Gosh, that's another blog topic right?  Oh well, such are first impressions...anyways back to my school girl thoughts....(HAHA)

Regarding my "work day" with Y, there were some moments that bugged me. Is sitting beside me (in between breaks) an indication of "liking"? Is giving me a "forced" frown after a funny joke i blurted out a sign? Is telling me to stay over for work "in jest" even if I don't have to , a teensy weensy indication he likes being around me? 

Oh i will never know...but this is the exciting part isn't it?! Single moms like me need this!

Somehow after my "Stranger Ex", finding this familiar feeling of chemistry is not so easy to feel again. This is pretty refreshing. To feel giddy and just be happy in this little way. Sigh (smile).

Let's see where my summoning the universe will take me. To be continued....