Singled Out

I saw an article from the CNN Website, talking about being single and how people around you, hound or nag you for it. Perplexed reactions toward your seemingly charming personality and still not getting any? Oh yes, the circumstances of being in your 30s or 40s and not quite living up to the normal timelines of family life or even a dating schedule to adjust to.

So the article says, when somebody approaches you with those "How can you still be single??" .... answer them with "It just hasn't happened yet."

I am not one to obsess over my single status. That is maybe why I haven't attracted any "male specie". Men I think have a capacity to sense if they're not needed. Like seeing a slightly shut door. Like the sign "Shhh...Quiet Please." Like other independent women out there, I don't do it intentionally. So I ponder what things can I do to NOT exude that I don't need a man?

Sadly, dating or wanting to date...is a game. And if we want some action, like it or not, we need to play it. Look below for some valuable nuggets of  wisdom from a woman who was too lazy to do them....(LOL)

PLAY DUMB SOMETIMES. Don't act like you know everything. Ask for help. Ask for directions. Ask for assistance. If Men know you can wing it, then what would they be there for? Without looking like a total "needy" woman-person, sprinkle your persona with "not knowing" some things. Men love to feel knowledgeable and be able to help a damsel in distress - well sort of.

FLATTER THEN FLIRT. Learn to give out compliments. Acknowledge their little work stories of triumph. Notice his new hair, his nice outfit or how the stubbles fit his face. This works best for new acquaintances of course, but if you're fancying  your long-time drinking buddy - then that will probably work too. He may see you in a different light, and not just "one of the boys".

DON'T BE A SMUG, SMILE! Some women act like the world is their enemy. Stop complaining about the food, stop noticing the funny that girl walks, or maybe just stop being too opinionated? Right that is difficult right? Especially when we've spent our entire lives observing how life is and how people who dress or act funny becomes irritating to the eye. But for a while, be positive. Say something nice! Don't frown at things. Smile! Laugh about it instead. Negative words are a big turn off. A pleaser is a big turn on. 

DRESS UP! Dress like you want to attract a man. Wear something that shows a bit of skin. Make it short or show off your cleavage a bit. But if you don't have time to make that dramatic change, wear some luscious pink lips, NOT red, cause it comes off too strong and aggressive.


CHUCK YOUR CELL OUT. Seeing you with your 2-3 mobile phones during dinner signals them - "You are all work, work work." This makes men think you won't have time for anything else. Turn down your cellphone on silent while in a social setting and really talk to people. This shows how you're open to good conversation and possible "connection" without any distractions.

Does this help in any way?? Let me know. I think it helped me too. Like talking to myself and giving myself a bit of spanking, for being too self-abosrbed. 


While it hasn't happened yet, it doesn't hurt to imbibe some positive undertones of needing a man once in a while, to let the universe know you are ready for that somebody. What do you think girls? :)

When i see this

my favorite shot
Originally uploaded by banjgirl

to my untrained eye, i have captured it perfectly well.
it reminds me of what i once promised myself.
maybe this year, i can take as many pictures of things and people that move me, that intrigues me, that saddens me or better still, that gladdens me.

TALKIN' THE TALK (Nina mania entry, Nov. 2008)

As nurturing parents, we were taught to talk to our big bellies and have them listen to classical music, para matalino ang anak. I did the whole pregnancy routine with so much vigor - i now realize, i end up with a really talkative and inquisitive daughter. Not that i'm complaining but - boy, you could appreciate a bit of silence once in a while? Hehe. So i constantly warn "would-be" mom friends of mine, SLEEEEEP as much as you can, coz you will be having more sleepless nights after the baby's out.

Plus, you will never hear the end of the 'whys' and 'hows' and 'you know whats' from your growing kiddo. Just like what Nina did once, one quiet lazy morning.

Backgrounder. She has this habit of talking in mid-sentence (First thing when she wakes up) and right away to me, assuming MY brain cells are already wide awake as hers are. Somehow, kids Jeanina's age just have to get your attention, in REM stage or not. A loud statement blurted out, way before you could lift your eyelids

Latest funny incident happened yesterday morning. Super early morning setting. I squint my eyes but still sleepy ( just to check on the cute critter beside me)...then there she goes, she looks up as sleepily as I was and says with all readiness, "You know mom, teacher angie says papers and pencils are made out of trees." WOW trivia in the morning?? Really now. And trying to rouse from my slumber and utter a mommy word of acknowledgement, "oh yeah that's right babe!" under my breath and smiles to her. Pagtingin ko, natulog ulit??? (She went back to sleep??!!)

WAAHHH, natawa ako promise (that made me laugh). My tornado kid has a storm brewing in her brain, even in her sleep i guess? many LOLs.

Rewind

God has it been 3 months?? How do i recover this blog from all that? I don't even know if anybody reads me anymore. Lol. But as a writer, i will write anyway. Wherever my insanely full-of-thoughts brain cells and keyboard-tapping fingers take me...

Since the last time i wrote here....

.....i already thought of setting up a business or changing careers once, twice, twenty times over...and ended up taking up an insurance licensure exam, out of curiosity and desperation to find my place in the "scorching" 2009 sun. I have reviewed, passed the exam last dec and as i speak, have not actively done anything to pursue that (for now).

..... i decided to ease myself out from our casting business, and to focus just on myself and Nina.

.....christmas had been fun and now gone. Nina got the bike of her dreams (although it was pink, she loved it all the same) from moi.

.....christmas shopped on a shoe string budget. well okay okay, i spent more than i expected AGAIN. but hey i just can't resist christmas. and i loooove the holiday rush.

.... i have successfully participated in a very fulfilling christmas outreach endeavor with college bedan peers and friends last december. I have had sleepless nights pouring over iMovie video creations for it, but it was all worth it. 500 families and 200 kids served. Check!

.... i was voted president for this coming year's outreach. great honor indeed.

.... reported for 2 ad agencies for temp work. and no solid full-time offer as of today.

.... had my car fixed twice and had car wash, maybe thrice? yep, i can be THAT lazy, or should i say busy mommy? or whatever!

.... i have had the odd moments of cooking a few "new" recipes in my humble little kitchen. my next target: julia child's, beef bourguignon :) inspired by the movie.

.... i have finished writing projects here and there. collected checks small and slightly big. awaiting, the "enormous" one that has eluded me, last year. LOL. but hope floats!! so i'm holding on tight for a project OR job to whisk me away from my uncertain future.

..... i have cried myself to sleep several times, especially on those days when nothing was just happening.

..... i experienced having to pray so deeply, maybe God thought I was vying for an oscar-nomination for best drama queen. hahaha.

..... i realized the material things were just "superficial" manifestations of what life is all about, but never THE goal of life itself. It's sad how oftentimes, people measure each other by things they have rather than the things they "positively" made each other feel. I choose the latter.

..... i have gone through the replays of my life, my loves and my losses, and bottomline, it doesn't help to do those needless flashbacks. As Suzie Orman said yesterday, "Look at what you HAVE and not at what you HAD". Good job suzie! :) So I'm never looking back. EVER. okay maybe I'll slack off, a minute or two then i'll snap out of it.

..... i realized how Nina loves my company so much, her face lights up every time she comes in from school to see me in the same "computer" spot in our living room, for days.

..... i have rediscovered an online chat friendship that has lasted for more than 5 years now. And amazingly, we're still going strong.

..... i have started growing plants indoors, straight from mama rose's garden. For a fengshui kind of effect. So far this year, I'm doing relatively better. I'm sure it's not just the plants right?

..... mama rose has celebrated her 90th bday last Jan. 16. With video tribute and t-shirt design from me! :) i was crying a hundred times, all throughout the edit, as usual.

..... has swam just twice. walked a lot the past 2 weeks to makati, for an 8-day temp job. that was just about it for my exercise regimen for 3 months!

Whew, it was a roller coaster ride wasn't it?

February has just started. Hopefully i get to write something "valentine-worthy" soon? Let's see. Now if only I can urge my butt off my couch today. LOL.

Happy Friday!