Let me count them, to make me even feel sorrier for myself. Haha. Kidding. Some are my own thoughts, some are unsolicited observations of close friends, as to why i don't "attract" guys who would want to approach me.
1. I look too busy, all the time. Even at a social setting, clients tend to call me and I text away while I try my hardest to be the social butterfly that I really am. While a new girl in the group asked a good guy friend of mine out on a salon trip for the guys' haircut, I curiously ask "why don't we go on haricuts together" or something like that. He replied simply, "Well you're always busy, arent you?". Big R. Realization. Pitfalls of single momminess, we have to earn our keep and say yes to clients and answer their calls. Ofcourse, there should be a time for leisure too. When at a party I remind myself, PUT DOWN THE PHONE BARBIE. lol.
2. I have opinions on every topic. In other words, people find me too brash or straightforward when I point out my thoughts on things. But what was I to do? I am really like that. I tried keeping quiet for a while... the night became boring! I can't do the "shy"...one-word reaction bit by the more serene girls. I can never just yes, I have my own opinion and i will air it. Not always disagreeingly though. I have been made to OWN the stage! Haha. so the guy needs to live with that, and love that about me.
3. My life is not an open book. Getting to know me, my life story and the real me - takes a really, really deep digging up about. I am not who you think I am. My desires go deeper than my exterior actions. My ex-boyfriends can attest to that. All the good, fuzzy and mysterious things about me - only they know. For new guys to get to REALLY know me, has to try harder and act like a police interrogator. I don't mind being probed. I love conversation , and I like knowing people to their core. If a new guys approaches me with a very personal question, but with the sincere vibe of knowing me beyond what the eye can see? Then he has successfully entered chapter one of my life's colorful, unending saga.
4. My charm goes, when my waistline goes. If i looked like the big girl on hairspray, and had a great sense of humor - i'm the clown. If i looked like Kate Hudson (or even the silhouette of hers) and act clumsy-funny -i'm the sexy, hot mama. So which boat should I be in? Case closed.
5. I should go out more. I work too much, okay maybe 70% of the time. I go out, for work. I dine out, for work. I talk on the phone, for work. Things have to change around here. Now as I'm writing this, I know that.
6. Intimidation Smictzhon. I have heard this too many times before. Maybe he's intimidated by you. So what, should I not walk with my chin up high? Or should I slump my back farther, to not look like much of a confident career woman? This i cannot figure out myself.
7. I act like I don't need a man. I do things on my own. I don't ask help from guy friends. I act like my life is well-planned (but it's not), complete (but still getting there) and no space for a man. Ergo, (like my best HS friend says) men sense that energy. If I act too independent, it tells them I am okay by my lonesome. I need more work on this part.
Do these sound familiar? I would really want to try and date soon. Apart from the very untraditional dating rituals nowadays, I may have a long warm-up phase before my dating life gets a much-needed jumpstart.
Any suggestions on being a more dateable moi?
